Saturday, April 30, 2011


Going on a hike today. the should burn a lot. On ABC it's 500 cals today. So far i had like an eighth of a slice of pizza which is about 50 and i probably burned that with the crunches and jumping jacks i did. i also did a lot of cleaning. I purged yesterday and my brother heard me! Now they might know! I squeezed my fat ass into a size 2 pair of pants. now my gut is hanging and it makes me want to loose weight and not eat

Friday, April 29, 2011

Worst Assignment Ever!!!!

English sucked! We had to write a paragraph each about what our favourite meal and least favourite meal are. I wrote mine about 2 disgusting meals to try to evade the craving of food. However, when the rest of the people in my class read their paragraphs it made me SO hungry! Thank god there was no food for me to get at! It was the worst assignment for me. Well i got back the memoir essay and my teacher LOVED it! So i'm happy and it kinda took away my hunger :) soon i'll be going home and going to my plan :)

Starting ABC today

Since I have Ana Buddies now and have my thinspo's set I think I'm ready for ABC. Today's objective: 500 Cal. so far had it all at lunch. No other food today. Gotta go pick up glucose tabs for those pesky lows. Also gotta get more baking soda. Also i figured when i get home. i'll do some crunches, jumping jacks, and sprints in my room. rest for a bit, the go to the library. spend about an hour there. Come home, do homework, read, watch Monty Python, and sleep. I have a few new Ana buddies and they're helping me out. SO far the nurse is a little suspicious of Ana and mom and Ashley maybe. Today i burned 207 calories so far. i figure about 200 more walking to the library. crunches, jumping jacks, and sprints are about another 200. I want to burn more calories than i ate so far today. if mom makes me eat I'll Mia again. It was so easy yesterday to Mia! I felt so proud. and i don't think i'll ever touch Special K again. It was so nasty coming up! Grapes too. I'll eat celery later if anything. Glucose tabs have no calories so i can basically live on those and water. Today has been good so far and I don't have any suspicion today. I went on a walk yesterday and that burned about 100 cals.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

More good news!

I had my first real purging session today! had special K and i got rid all of it! mom wasn't home so no one heard me :) i felt so good after!
Uncrustable: 210
Special K: 150 (MIA)

Water. Lots of water

Sprints- 30
crunches- 100
jumping jacks- 50
brisk walk- 15 minuets
walking all day: 6, 338 steps

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Neg Cal Foods

Food with Neg Cals! Yay!

Green beans
String beans
Beet greens
Brussels sprouts
Chinese cabbage
Tomato (fresh/canned)
Corn (cob/canned)
Dandelion greens
Dill pickles
Mustard greens
Parsley leaves
Parsnips (raw/boiled)
Peppers (green/red)
Pickles (sour/sweet)
Red cabbage

Damson plum
Fruit salad (fresh/canned)
Honeydew melon


Yay!!! All i had today was water, celery, and PB crackers!!! I burned at least 542 calories!!!!! Now i will live on water, celery, and glucose tabs! I'm thinking 1 meal a day maybe half a meal/snack. I'm so proud today :)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


I think from eating a good rexy (celery and special K bar [Mia]) lunch i'm having little seizures :( Fuck!!!!!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Saturday, April 16, 2011

I love Dia-Mia!

SO yesterday i was really sick from my diabetes (lack of insulin) and i threw up a lot :)
I went from 118 to 107!!!!!!! ELEVEN FUCKING POUNDS!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy! Only 7 pounds till 100 :) and then maybe 5 pounds after that :)

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Pro-Ana/Mia helpful quotes

I found these on another blog and i think it will help when you have a craving or you are doubting pro-ana I think it will help me and anyone else who is pro-ana or pro-mia

So you are craving food right now, huh?

What do you think you are doing?

Don't you dare go anywhere near food!

Don't touch it; don't even think about it

What do you want to do, become a fat cow?

I am your best friend, and if you eat, you are failing me and letting me down.

If you eat right it shows what little self-control you have.

That pain in your stomach right now, that is me, and that is your fat melting away.

When you feel empty, it means you are empty of your sins.

Summer is coming up. You want to be able to walk around in booty shorts and a bikini top, don't you?

You want to walk around in a bikini with your flat, firm little stomach and your toned little thighs.

You want to be able to run your hand over your stomach and feel your ribs.

You want to go to the mall and see that skimpy outfit and know you would look damn good in it.

You made a commitment to me. I am your life and obsession. Don't break what we have.

I will give you everything you want, but you have to give me what I want. And I want you to stay away from food.

Go have some water. Go drink some tea or coffee.

Or better yet - go to the gym, fatty!

Don't show me what little self-control you have.

Don't defy me.

You know that if you go eat right now, you will end up on your knees puking it all up until you see blood and water and your stomach is aching.

You will regret eating as soon as those calories and that fat slip past your tonsils and down into your body to add to that extra roll on your stomach.

You are going to get cellulite.

You are going to look like the typical fat soccer mom.

I can give you so much - I can give you a great body.

Show me your control and I will show you a flat stomach.

Show me you love me and can keep me a secret and stay away from food and I'll give you those shaped little thighs.

Show me you can run until you drop and I will give you a cute ass.

You love me.

If you eat now and throw away what you are working for, I will hate you. And you will hate yourself.

You have a meal plan; you have goals and dreams.

Don't throw that all away now. Don't give up what you really want for something you want now.

Don't eat fatty.

You are still no supermodel like Kate Moss.

Don't fail me.

Don't eat.


Food Log:
2 Nutrigrain bars: 240 cal
PB + J: 421 cal
mac n' cheese: 350 cal

Water with Crystal light: 0 cal
Orange Juice: 70 cal
Milk: 39 cal

CW: 116
WG: 95
Current Pant Size (CPS): 3/4
Goal Pant Size (GPS): 0/1
Height: 5'1''

I binged so much!!!!! i feel so nasty! I'm going on the ABC diet now. I have also made some rules for myself
  • No food before 10 am [coffee allowed].
  • No food after 6 pm [coffee allowed].
  • Must wait at least 3 hours to eat again after a meal (if i absolutely need a meal)
  • Never EVER go over 800 cals a day. EVER. (i will slowly go down)
  • Must burn off all calories consumed through exercise.
  • No meat
  • Green food = good food, eat in abundance
I'm going to start the ABC diet tomorrow I'm going to start with 800 calories. hopefully i can get less than that. I'm just worried about people finding out. My mom, best friend, school nurse, guidance counsellor, therapist, behavioralist, DYFUS worker, and case worker would FREAK OUT! Well except for my behaviourist and DYFUS worker are all skinny and wouldn't know what it's like to feel like a fat ass. They're all skinny and pretty and they don't know what it's like! Tomorrow I'm not having breakfast or dinner, and a small lunch and MAYBE a snack before my therapist shows up. All the people that work with my family are saying i've improved since they've came to see me. I just need to keep this a secret until about 6 months from now and then i can go a bit more public. I'm going to do Ana in a smart way. I can get some pills from my friend's house so that can help. The only problem with the ABC diet is i can't do the fasting days because i'm diabetic so i'll try to do no more than 100 calories those days. Liquid diet is also an option those days.

I've said a few times to my friends/family that i feel fat and they say 'you're so skinny! you don't need to, you look good'
Well in the modelling world i would be a 'plus size model' my personal favourite thinspiration is Pattie Boyd. Does she look like a size 3/4? Does she look like a small or extra small? Does she have thunder thighs? A muffin top? Flabby arms? A bubble butt? No she doesn't! A model is a size 2 or lower and an extra small! If you look at my stats i am a little chunky for my height. food is my worst enemy and exercise and Ana are my best friends. Super skinny people who have been like that their whole lives don't know what it's like to feel fat and nasty. The locker room is evil to me. i can't wear short shorts or tight tops because my belly will show.

Saturday, April 9, 2011


Went to grandma's house last night to see my little sister. She didn't force deep fried puerto rican food down my throat :) Playing with a hyper 5 year old helped burn some calories. Then this morning we went on a hike after breakfast (I ate some strawberries, blueberries, and 2 pancakes) but the hike helped burn it off. I went to New York City after and took the underground . WE ran through the station and it reminded me of the opening scene of A Hard Day's Night :) Walked up and down Canal St. and walked for 5 hours!!!!! Mom made me have lunch but i had blue/black/straw berries, and some nuts but that was DEFIANTLY burned off. My blood sugar went low and i had to have a soda (200 Cal.) but i did more walking so that helped burn it off. Slept

Friday, April 8, 2011


I'm so proud! I had NO CALORIES OR FAT AT LUNCH!!! I ran for 12 minuets during gym. Although my blood sugar went low after not eating a carby lunch and i had to eat crackers (23 carbs, 190 calories and 6 fat) I have to observe for my EMT hours so i can walk there, and 3.5 hours without food. only diet snapple to drink today :) I have to go to my grandma's later to see my little half sister (family issues and i haven't seen her in a while) and i'm going to have dinner and since i'm puerto rican EVERYTHING is deep fried!!! Hopefully i can doge the bullet on this one. Today has been a good rexy day so far. I hope i can improve even more, i need to find some kind of calorie, fat free juice to keep my blood sugar up. I'm happy today :) Yay! Great rexy day!


I had to go out to dinner last night and i had 1/2 a veggie burger and some fries the fires were baked THANK GOD! I said i didn't like it so i didn't have to eat all of it. And no desert :) But i had to have some orange juice and a croissant in the middle of the night because i'm diabetic and i was low. but i've found a solution for that! glucose tabs! NO CALORIES :) I also ran for 19 minuets! I feel so happy but i need to get rid of all this nasty chub! i looked in the mirror last night and i saw my disgusting self. i hate it!!!!

Current Weight: 116 lbs.
Goal Weight: 100. lbs
Height: About 5'1 1/2
Concentration fat: Stomach, thighs, but, arms (basically everywhere!)

I know i sound thin but trust me i have chub. I hope to lose at least 5 pounds in a month

Thursday, April 7, 2011


Almost gave into and Italian pastry today in class but i avoided it! Good thing i have diabetes and said i can't because of my blood sugar :) only had diet snapple and a pretzel for lunch. probably no more food for today :) maybe mom won't find out

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

So far

no breakfast today and crackers for lunch. i was forced to have a slice of pizza and Chinese food. My mom is kind of making me eat. this is going to be trouble i know it!

Here are some tips from my Rexy Bible

Well I should first say you should start a Rexy Bible (a 'bible') so you can put tips, goals, tracking progress, and pictures of your 'Thinspiration' (mine are in the side bar) Here are some tips from my Rexy Bible

1. Drink a lot of water (this keeps you full on less)
2. Chew sugar free gum so you can feel like you're eating when your not (fruit and the desert ones work best)
3. Drink Tea and Coffee but NOTHING in it (makes your body feel full and caffeine curbs your appetite)
4. Cut your food in small pieces, so it looks like more so you will stop after only half of it
5. take a bite of food (if you NEED to eat) then put your fork down and take a sip of water
6. If you have a really bad craving for something chew it but then spit it out and rise thoroughly with water (DO NOT swallow any of it!)
7. Pick safe (under 100 calories) and negative calorie foods
8. Do not eat something unless you know the EXACT number of calories
9. Keep a diary (Rexy Bible) to track your progress. I have divided mine into 5 parts. Tips, Foods to eat if necessary, thinspiration, goals, and my progress/ food+exercise diary
10. Exercise 15 minuets before eating
11. Buy jeans 1 size too small to be a goal to fit into
12. Diet pills are good (but use them appropriately)
13. No soda! Unless diet
14. Eat on a dark colored plate (Black, Blue, Navy) this will make you feel full fast
15. make a list of foods NOT to eat
16. Pick 1 safe food a day to eat
17. Find the fat you want to get rid of and pinch it
18. Wear a rubber band/ hair tie on your wrist (red- Ana purple- Mia) and snap it when you think of food.
19. Eat with the hand you DON'T write with. It will feel awkward and you'll stop eating
20. Put vinegar or a lot of salt on your food so when you eat it, it will be less pleasing and you'll throw it away
21. When you can eat in front of a mirror so you'll feel bad and stop eating
22. Try to stay away from dinner
23. If you can, throw away all the bad food in your house
24. Try to take vitamins so you don't lose the vitamins in the food you gave up
25. No more than 1,000 calories a day (the less the better)
26. After eating do 20 jumping jacks or crunches or push ups
27. Peppermint makes you feel full so chew peppermint gum or suck on the hard candies
28. suck on hard, sugar free, low fat candies if you have a craving
29. Don't slouch it will burn more fat if you sit up straight
30. Dress in layers. This will make you sweat and get rid of some fat
31. Sleep more. If you sleep you won't be tempted to eat
32. Do 50 sit ups each morning before school/work
33. Confuse your body temperature. If you are in a room that is usually cold, take off your jacket to stay cold, if you're in a room that's normally hot put a jacket on. This will make your body confused and use more energy.
34. When you want food put 3 drops of vinegar on your tongue
35. Stand when ever possible
36. Always keep your hands and feet moving. Every calorie counts
37. No liquid calories
38. If you have a bad craving count to 100 and think of what will happen if you eat
39. DO NOT eat past 7 PM or 4 hours before going to sleep
40. Anti-Heart Burn Medication helps curb your appetite
42. If you're a smoker go on and have on because smoking lowers your appetite
43. Ween yourself off food. Slowly you'll go from 3 meals and a few snacks a day to a snack a day


This is a Pro-Ana blog. Please no hate comments! I'm here if anyone wants a Pro-Ana buddy and i will leave some tips and stuff. Hope i can help anyone who needs it when becoming Pro-Ana